Next Saturday I am going to be a pageant judge for the Frederick County Distinguished Young Woman Program. I am really excited about this opportunity for several reasons.
First, because I have never done anything even remotely like this before unless you count the time I served as a judge for a youth public speaking contest. I’m not sure I should really bring that up because if I recall, I rallied heavily to let all the contestants win against the advice of the contest organizers. Apparently giving everyone a trophy only counts in little league sports. Go figure!
The second reason I’m excited is because I’m all for world peace. 🙂
Truth be told, when the organizer of the FCDYW Program asked me to be one of the judges, I hesitated because I feared my invitation would be rescinded if they knew about my past. In the spirit of full disclosure I think it’s fair that the world knows I am a two-time loser in the pageant arena.
When I was 6 years old, my mother entered me in the “Little Miss Valley” pageant which showcased little girls in the greater Middletown Valley. In spite of my best efforts to be cute, the crown was bestowed upon little Miss Mary Ellen Pasike. Mary Ellen, a younger contestant with perfect dark hair and eyes, captured the crown after she jumped onto the lap of the pageant emcee, “Happy Johnny”, Frederick’s beloved radio personality.
This manuever occurred after the audience became abruptly aware that a bat mysteriously entered and began flying around the elementary school auditorium during Miss Pasike’s interview. The crowd, upon seeing this endearing moment displayed by my arch nemesis and competitor, “awwwwww’ed” in unison, cementing the audience’s approval. To this day, I’ve hated bats and am still awaiting the official video recording which will confirm my suspicion that the bat was planted.
I’m not bitter.
To add insult to injury, my mother, not wanting her daughter’s only attempt at competition to end in a losing streak, entered both my sister and me in the “Little Miss Frederick” contest several weeks later. Sadly, Mama Ruth returned home with not one, but two crownless daughters!
And so, she who cannot win becomes a judge!
For more information on the Frederick County Distinguished Young Woman Program, go to:
You won’t be able to miss me. I’ll be the one holding the bat cage!