In my last blog post, I reflected on the fact that during one of my more difficult workouts, I focused on a photo of Patti Palmer–In-Fit’s Poster Child for true courage. I am told that Patti routinely worked out during her intensive chemo treatments but in spite of her valiant fight against her raging cancer, she ultimately succumbed to the horrible disease. Truly she epitomized all three of these important qualities.
I’ve never had cancer or had to endure a chemo treatment so I cannot relate to the depth of despair she faced or the courage she needed to channel in order to face each day. But within each of us dwells that deep, dark place where fear resides as well as the resolve to conquer it, in even the smallest of ways.
Enter Rick Davis.
Rick is my trainer. I’m 13 years his senior but on my first day at In-FIT, I was scared to death of him. He has that All-American- athletic- “I do one-arm push-ups just for fun”- no nonsense kind of look about him and…..well…..
I do cross stitch.
I was only afraid of him the first day.
I spent the next several months being mad at him. That’s where the rage comes in.
Let me explain what I know to be true about that emotion. I wasn’t really mad at Rick. I was mad at myself. Mad for not taking better care of myself; for putting everything and everyone ahead of me; mad at being in denial so long about the fact that I was always tired, not because I was working too hard but because I was so out of shape.
It’s easier to be mad at someone else than it is to be mad at yourself. (This is an important thing to know if you are currently raising teenagers!) Everyone needs a scapegoat.
And so I was mad at Rick. I hope it did not show outwardly. But it was definitely happening inwardly. A war was raging—complete with eye rolling, loud whining, full-on adolescent style bad attitude—inside my pissed off head!!!
Ugh! This was hard and he actually liked this stuff. To add insult to injury, I couldn’t charm my way out of any of it! (a technique which has historically served me well in life.)
Noooooo, not with Trainer Rick. I tried (and still continue at times) every excuse in the book when I decided an exercise was too hard. He doesn’t fall for it. He has an answer for EVERYTHING! AND he has eyes in the back of his head. There is no taking short cuts or doing less than the required repetitions. He can appear to be totally engrossed in helping another client across the room and somehow KNOWS if you cheated.
To his young daughters, Rachel and Amanda, all I can say is “I feel your pain.”
To Rick’s credit and as testimony to his expertise and vast experience, I know that on every level he knows exactly what is going on inside of me.
In spite of the fact that in my drama-filled, imaginative mind, he was like Jack Nicholson’s character in A Few Good Men spewing “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH”, he has been inspiring, encouraging, informative, patient, forgiving, and often very funny.
There is an expression that says “if you can’t see it, you can’t be it.”
One of the many reasons Rick has earned my respect and trust is because even when, at times, I still can’t see the fit, healthy person I am meant to become, he can.
And that’s how grace enters the picture.
Stay tuned for my next post– humble pie and my favorite “Rick-isms”.